If you’re feeling like you’ve lost your way, you’re not alone. In fact, you’re in the majority — most men lead lives of quiet desperation. But since when has being in the majority been a comfort?


You’re an original.

This is a big part of the problem.

You’re breaking new ground — or wish you were.

So whether you’re:

  • in business for yourself or
  • dreaming of doing your own thing, or
  • wish you could decide which of those ten great ideas to follow —

You don’t have a lot of models out there.

And on your giddy days, it feels pretty great.

Wow, look at me — I’m beating the odds.

Instead of being like all those other dead stiffs out there —

I’m an original.

But sometimes, you just feel odd and lonely.

Or like a fool —


In fact, you don’t even want to get out of bed.

And this is not a good feeling.

So follow the feeling.

Wait a minute.

Follow the feeling?

Isn’t that what got me in this mess in the first place?

Well, yes.

And no.

Stay with me for two more minutes.

Pay Day’s coming.

Why follow the feeling?

Why would I encourage you to follow the feeling — even when it’s a bad feeling?

Because it’s the feeling that got you into the zone of being an original in the first place.

And we need your originality — so don’t give up yet.

Because the fact is, most men have lots of bad days.

But the reason most men feel bad is because they aren’t following their feelings.

Instead, they’re following their heads and going the wrong way fast —

Because they’re going the way they think they should be going.

But not you —

Somewhere back there, you decided to follow your heart, because you didn’t want to be like everyone else.

And that’s good.

But what can you do to leverage your originality and still feel good at the end of the day?

Make more meaning.

This is the challenge.

Make more meaning.

If you want to stop drifting — and get back to daring — you need to do something meaningful.

So —

Please watch this short video (12 minutes) and come right back for three action steps and we’ll wrap up for today.

What did you notice?

Esfahani Smith gave you four mainstays of meaning:
  • Belonging — Where you’re valued for who you are, not necessarily for what you do.
  • Purpose — Which is less about what you want than it is about what you give — the why that drives you forward — using your strengths to serve others.
  • Transcendence — That feeling you get when you’re lifted above the daily hustle and bustle — when you feel connected to something more.
  • Storytelling — And here is the key to the whole thing –the story you tell yourself about yourself.  You need to create a narrative of your life that gives you clarity and gives you meaning. A story like this will include being able to tell what you lost, what you gained and what you gave. In other words — redemption.

So please do this now.

  1. Set aside 30 minutes.
  2. Get out a pen and paper or a fresh computer document.
  3. Write about your life in terms of these three mainstays: belonging, purpose and transcendence. Write as fast as you can, without pausing to edit. Touch on these three topics somewhere in that 30 minutes of writing.

Because as you write, you will notice something.

Your heart is pounding.

That’s your motor.

It’s running again.

Need help with the next step?
Feel free to write to me at mark@marknewtonpdx.com.