Another stressful day begins after a less than satisfying night’s rest. Already you feel behind. But what if instead of reacting to the events of the day, you were to take the proactive step of beginning your day with the simple act of listening to yourself?
Here’s the difference.
This may sound obvious, but here it is:
Stress comes from the outside, whereas listening to yourself comes from the inside.
The difference is crucial. Here’s why:
Stress weakens you. Listening strengthens you.
But you may object: “When I listen to myself, I get even more stressed out.” Fair enough. But consider this:
If you listen to yourself and what you hear is judgment and stress, you’re hearing someone else’s voice, not your own.
But whose voice are you hearing?
When you hear voices of judgment inside your head, try hard to discern whose voice you are actually hearing. Is it the voice of your mother? Your father? Your boss?
Whoever it is, the voice of judgment will be someone outside of you. And try not to feel bad that the voice you are hearing is someone else’s voice. Most of us listen for voices outside of ourselves to give us the answers.
There are many reasons for this. One reason is that you went to school for a huge portion of your life. And at school, you were taught to learn what someone else said, and then take tests which checked to see how well you could regurgitate what you had been taught. So you were programmed to learn the “right answer” from outside yourself, to the big questions of life.
But you have a huge amount of inner wisdom, despite all of this early programming, if only you could learn to trust yourself!
You can make the shift to listening to yourself with one simple trick.
One simple trick.
Write.
If you would begin your day writing, preferably in your own hand on paper with a pen or pencil that feels good in your hand, with the simple intention of listening to yourself, you would experience a huge mental shift that would transform everything else that followed in your day.
Why? Because you would be heard. Even if no one else heard you that day, you would have been heard.
Here’s how to make the switch.
Remember: Make Everything Essential Easy! Which in this case means just do it. Don’t ask yourself if you feel like writing in the morning. You won’t feel like it. But after you’ve done it, you’ll be glad you did.
Make a place to write where it’s easy. Find a place where you won’t be disturbed for at least 15 minutes. If this means setting up a desk in the basement, do it. Or if this means simply getting yourself a small piece of plywood you can put on your lap so you can crawl into some small corner with your pen and paper, do that. It may mean taking yourself to outside to a cafe or some other spot where you will be undisturbed for those critical few minutes at the beginning of your day.
Put it on your calendar. It’s an appointment with someone very important: You. Does this feel selfish? Think of it this way: all the other people in your life will benefit from these few minutes of personal clarity, including you!
Keep the appointment. You wouldn’t put an appointment to meet someone else on your calendar and not show up, would you? No. So put it on your calendar and then show up for yourself.
Here’s why.
When you start your day listening to yourself, you will feel less alone. The most stressful part of any day is when you feel isolated.
When you start your day by listening to yourself, you have the sense not only of who you are and what you want, but with the sense that you are not alone. Whatever else happens today, someone has your back: you.
One Simple Structure
Accept. At the moment, you’re stressed and unfocused, listening to just about everyone but yourself.
Build. You want to feel centered and balanced.
Connect. Make a simple, reliable plan to listen to yourself. Urgently desire to hear what you have to say, so you can start your day feeling connected with your own inner wisdom.
The takeaway:
If you want a better day — less stressful and more confident — start your day with a few minutes listening to yourself.
Would you like to explore this topic further?