Accepting is one of the most important aspects of life. And yet, it’s at an all time low. Why is this, and what can you do about it?

What’s the big deal about accepting?

Here’s the big deal.

Because unless you accept who you are, you’re lost.

You’re just floating in a sea of uncertainty.

Don’t believe me?

OK.

Ask yourself right now — what are you actually certain about?

Because if you’re like most men today, there’s a lot of uncertainty.

And you can trace that uncertainty right back to your lack of accepting.

And sure, you could pretend to feel OK about having very little idea about who you actually are or where you stand on important things.

But when you go to sleep tonight, that easy uncertainty will reward you with a lousy night’s sleep.

And tomorrow, when you wake up, and you can’t figure out why you feel so sluggish and grouchy, just remember —

Your bad mood, your anxiety and your depression are all due, in large part, to your laziness when it comes to accepting who you are.

But why is accepting so hard to do?

It’s hard because you never actually learned how to do it.

And that’s because your parents and your teachers don’t know how to do it, either.

In fact, most of the people around you don’t have a clue about how to be more accepting.

And why is this?

It’s because we learned from an early age to fit into one of a few pre-determined molds.

So the message you received, almost from birth, was not how to be more accepting of who you are.

In fact, you learned just the opposite.

From the earliest age you learned how not to figure out who you are.

Instead, you learned how to find a category and fit in.

It begins with boy and girl.

And moves from there to left or right.

Artist or engineer.

And if you don’t fit neatly into a mold or a category, you’d better find one and get busy being that.

What’s the alternative?

The alternative is — be alternative.

Learn to listen to yourself.

Listen to the beat of your own drum.

Or play your own flute — you get the point.

And find someone who can hear your truth.

Someone who’s earned the right to hear your story.

The person you tell might be your partner.

Or that person might be a friend.

You might even tell a therapist or a coach.

But find someone you can trust and begin to tell them who you really are.

And if you don’t know who you are, look back.

There was a time when you knew.

Yes, you did.

You still know, even if it’s buried pretty deep.

Yes, you do.

You just don’t recognize that voice that you once heard.

That voice that you shushed because it might get you into trouble.

Which brings us to what you can do today.

You can decide to keep shushing that voice, because it might get you into trouble.

Which is a decision to not accept who you are — which means you’ll be just as lost tomorrow as you are today.

Or, you can risk accepting who you are and begin the exploration of your life.

So now you know.

It’s a choice.

It’s a decision.

In fact, it’s the most important decision of your life.

Choose well.

And if you need help — this is what I do.

I help men choose well, make a plan and move ahead.

Feel free to contact me at mark@marknewtonpdx.com