Every day, you struggle to decide everything from which shirt to wear to whether you’re in the right profession. Here, at last, is a foolproof method to make every decision with confidence.
Once upon a time —
— there was a very smart man who was very lost.
Although he knew a lot about a lot of things, he couldn’t decide whether to turn right or left or go straight, each time he came to an intersection.
Just to be safe, he went straight ahead each time.
This seemed like the safest bet, since he didn’t have to decide, really — he just kept going.
And he lived happily ever after.
The end.
Wait a minute…
This isn’t how the story ends, is it?
You don’t even know this man, and instinctively you know that this can’t be right.
He didn’t live happily ever after.
Why?
Because life is full of twists and turns.
Just as choosing “c” every time you take a multiple-choice test doesn’t always work, not deciding will eventually lead you down a very deep rabbit hole.
So how do you decide?
For many men, this is a very confusing subject.
So here is the secret to making the right decision every time.
It doesn’t matter what you’re trying to decide.
You may object that of course it must matter whether you’re trying to decide whether to have pasta for supper or whether you should press for sex tonight.
Surprisingly — no.
There is only one thing necessary.
Courage.
That’s right, courage.
Look, unless you’re God, you will never know every time you make a decision whether it’s the right one or not.
So, the next best thing to being a deity is to trust your heart, decide, and see how it goes.
What?
This is idiotic, you protest.
How can I trust my heart, you say.
And here is where mastery comes in.
You remember mastery, right?
We’ve talked about his before.
A brief review:
There are three things which motivate us, which give us drive (and thus motivate us, in this case, to make a decision):
- autonomy
- mastery
- purpose
Right now, we are focused on mastery.
And we are specifically focused on mastering the art of making decisions we can trust — that are the right decision — every time.
Practice makes perfect.
Whatever you want to master in life — whether it’s playing baseball or piano or drawing or parenting — requires practice, right?
So practice making decisions.
Don’t shy away from them.
Follow your heart.
This is the heart of courage.
In fact, the word courage comes from the french coeur, which means heart.
If you want pasta tonight, choose pasta.
If you are looking for sex tonight, let your partner know.
Don’t overthink it.
Blink it.
For more on this, check out Malcolm Gladwell’s excellent book Blink.
What you’ll find in that book, and the point of this post, is that you are not practicing making decisions nearly enough.
You’re not deciding.
And every time you don’t trust yourself, every time you don’t decide, you’re getting further and further away from making decisions with confidence.
Said another way — the right decision every time is a decision made from the heart in a timely way.
If you want to be able to make decisions with confidence, start making more decisions and learn from them.
Start small, and work your way up, if that helps.
But get started.
Stop passing the buck.
Start making more decisions today, and see where it leads you.
If you’d like to comment on this post — even if it’s just to tell me I’m an idiot for suggesting such a simple solution to such a perplexing problem — or have questions about exploring this topic further, feel free to write to me at mark@marknewtonpdx.com.
That’s all for now:-)