When was the last time you really listened? Can you even remember? (You’d remember) In this short confidence booster, we will explore why real listening improves confidence immensely and changes everything for the better from the inside out.
First of all, what is real listening?
You might be surprised.
First of all, real listening isn’t just listening with your ears (although even just to listen well with your ears is challenging). But no — to really listen, to really hear what your conversation partner is expressing, is much more difficult than you may think (which is not a reason to throw in the towel). But real listening is an athletic, all-body event, something you will need to train for if you want to do it well, and which takes a tremendous amount of your time and energy. Your whole life, really. So if you’re not interested in really listening, you might want to turn back now.
But I hope you’ll stay. Because if you do engage in listening that goes beyond the surface level, you will begin to experience life in its fulness, with a close connection with not only your conversation partners, but with the earth itself and the very meaning of life. (Really? Really.)
But what are the tangible advantages of real listening?
First of all, when you really listen, you will experience a dramatic increase in confidence.
One of the main reasons you’re here at this website is because you’ve lost your confidence and you want to get it back. Which is great. You will find your way back to confidence here.
But reclaiming your confidence is only the tip of the iceberg. In fact, there are so many advantages to real listening that we could probably call this website “Real Listening.” Still, let’s list just a few of the many advantages of making time to actually pay attention to what’s going on around you.
- Much better personal and romantic relationships
- Far better working relationships
- Exponentially more wealth
- A huge increase in your physical well-being
- Dramatically more joy
(Really? Really.)
Okay. So how do I get started?
You start by taking the focus off of yourself.
“But that’s part of the problem already!” you say. “No one is listening to me or paying attention to me!” And you’re right, of course. People for the most part aren’t actually listening to anyone but themselves and their own need to be heard.
So if you decide to take on the project of real listening, you will be one of the few who do. Which will make you a standout at work, at home, and in those moments when you are alone and wondering about the meaning of life. Because you’ll know that the meaning of life is only found in really listening to what is happening right here and right now. The rest is speculative fiction which is at the heart of all anxieties and depressions.
Whereas, when you really listen in the wee hours, you can sigh and go back to sleep so you’ll be awake to what is happening both right now and in the morning.
Make this one of your atomic habits.
Atomic habits are small, powerful habits that change us from the inside out.
Plan to take at least one small step today and tomorrow and the next day to become a better listener.
You have enough time for this, even if you don’t think you do. The risk? Minimal. The benefits? Astronomical for you and for everyone who needs what only you can bring into the conversation when you’re really listening (because only then you can respond in a way that brings the full force of who you are with any relevance).
And when you do focus on this new habit you will realize (perhaps for the first time) that this is how confidence grows. One small step at a time. Because you’ll finally understand what is going on around you and how much you are truly needed in the conversation.
The takeaway:
Real listening is the beginning of a return to confidence and to everything else that is good and interesting and worth living for.