You’d like a fresh start. Good. But first, you must address the ghosts of your past.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could start over? Leave the past in the past and live a fresh new day today?
You can.
But not until you clean house. Otherwise, you’re just fooling yourself. And you know what? The ghosts of your past will have their say, whether you like it or not. Ignore them at your peril. If you persist in ignoring them, they will appear suddenly, in an outburst; or visit you in the wee hours.
Best to deal with them now.
But what are they trying to tell you?
Be more generous.
Like Bob Marley’s ghost in A Christmas Carol, the ghosts of your past are trying to remind you that you were once happy and generous.
But lately, you’ve become greedy and twisted, licking old wounds.
The most magical part of Dickens’s story A Christmas Carol that I forget until I see the story fresh is that Scrooge had once been a happy, generous man. It still raises the small hairs on the back of my neck to realize that this is almost universally true with all men.
There was a time when you were young and innocent and happy.
But something happened to you along the way. You got hurt, perhaps in a way known only to you. After that, everything changed. You became hard inside, turning your back on your former more generous self to protect that soft, chewy center we all have, and which we all want to protect.
And in the process, you became a hardened and somewhat bitter man.
Would you like a fresh start?
Then listen for the boy who dreamed.
Instead of doggedly moving through your day with that stiff neck, sit and soften for a moment. Listen for that curious lad who once walked in younger man’s clothes.
What you might find, if you listen closely, is that sometime at about the age of fifteen, you had a dream. You were excited about your dream, and smiled inwardly at the thought that maybe you could pursue this dream in your working life. Or you might have had a love. The love of a person or an idea that filled you with wonder. Just to think of that person or that idea made you almost lift off the ground.
But somehow, you didn’t follow through on that dream, or love or idea. Still, as you are listening to your past, feeling those old hopeful feelings, consider: Is there some part of that past that you might bring into the present? That if you were to reconsider your current path and allow yourself to consider weaving at least some portion of your younger, wistful self into the day you are living today, that life would feel good and full and generous once again?
Make this one of your atomic habits.
Atomic habits are small, powerful habits that change you from the inside out.
It’s an old idea made fresh by the author James Clear in his book Atomic Habits. While the idea is as old as the hills, it’s a worthwhile idea: To choose a few powerful, simple habits that over time work their magic from the inside out.
Make this one of your atomic habits. At some regular interval, make it a habit to look back; to see that hopeful young man you once were, and to notice how as an adult you are drifting from that ideal.
The takeaway:
Let the ghosts of your past have their word with you. Let them remind you of your hopes and dreams, and notice little ways you might weave your deepest desires into today.
