Your friends are there to help you stay afloat.
In fact, if they knew right now that you’re feeling overwhelmed and not asking them for help, they would feel hurt. They want to be trusted and needed. Not just on the fair weather days, but especially when the winds are blowing against you.
And yet you shy away from being honest with them, don’t you? You say you’re fine when you’re not. Or you hide out on the dark days. Why do you do that? Because you’re conflicted. How do you tell your friends the hard stuff?
Just say it.
You’ll feel better, and so will they.
Why? Because when you tell your friends the hard stuff, they’ll know you trust them.
But the goodness of opening up to them doesn’t end there. When you open up, you lead the way for them to open up to you, too. Let’s face it. We’re all posers to some degree. We all want friends, but then instead of engaging with them in the truest sense of friendship, we pretend around each other that things are great when they’re not. And by doing so, we negate the whole point of friendship — which is to have others to rely on and feel supported by in the tough times.
Make the call.
Don’t overthink this.
Pick up the phone. Call your friend. Even if you only have one friend, call him. And when he picks up the phone, get right into it. “Hey, man, can I talk to you for a minute?”
He is waiting for your call right now. He lives for that call. He’s happy when he gets to feel needed. I mean, let’s think about a typical day. How many of your 1,440 minutes each day are filled with deep meaning? You could go weeks without getting as many endorphins rushing through your body as you will get from just a few minutes helping out a pal. And the same is true for him.
Make this one of your atomic habits.
Atomic habits are small, powerful habits that change us from the inside out.
Make a habit of inviting your friends into the bad times as well as into the good ones. Because you know what? The more you invite your friends into your storms, the more great times you’ll have together on the fair-weather days. Maybe even have a good laugh that you made it through so many storms together.
The takeaway:
Engage your friends in the truest meaning of friendship.