If you’re frustrated, do this now.
You’ve been trying to figure out why this particular problem is so frustrating, but the harder you try, the further you are from understanding the problem or the solution.
The reason you are so frustrated is because you are too close to the situation to understand it.
Think of it this way —
Have you ever gone to the movie theater and sat in the front row?
It hurts your eyes, and you really can’t enjoy the show.
You certainly can’t take in the whole thing.
The same is true of your life, whether you are frustrated at home or at work.
You’re too close and you need to stand back.
Until you stand back from the situation, you will never understand it.
You have to stand back.
And to stand back, you have to do this.
There is only one way to get the kind of perspective you need to get in order to get over the frustration.
And here it is:
You have to accept that you are part of the problem.
You may be 99% of the problem, or you may be 1% of the problem, but —
—as long as you blame others,
and wonder why everyone else is so stupid, uncaring and cruel, you will miss the solution.
The only way to actually begin to be able to climb up high enough out of the pit you have dug for yourself, and to see the situation clearly is to accept responsibility.
Suffering at Work or at Home?
Let’s say you are suffering at work.
Your boss is a jerk, you are under-appreciated and under-paid.
Or let’s say you are suffering in your relationship with your partner.
Your partner keeps doing things that make you feel bad, doesn’t understand why you are so distant, and doesn’t appreciate how hard you are trying.
Again, sound familiar?
The reason you can’t see how to solve your problem at work or at home is that you don’t see how much of the problem is you.
There is an old saying by Confucius:
“When you see a good man, emulate him; when you see a bad man, examine yourself.”
In other words, when you see a “bad man” or “bad woman” or anyone else who is a problem in your life, look at yourself.
You are part of the problem.
Let’s take the work example above: “Your boss is a jerk, you are under-appreciated and under-paid.”
Have you confronted your boss?
Maybe part of the problem is that you are too easy, too eager to please.
Maybe your self-esteem needs a boost.
You don’t even really like yourself.
For God’s sake, if you want a raise, find a way to ask for it!
If you’re not worth it, get the training you need to be so good they can’t ignore you!
It’s the same thing at home.
A major part of your problem at home is that you aren’t being upfront with your partner.
If you really want to get out of being endlessly frustrated, take a good, hard look at yourself.
Stop Putting It Off.
As many of you know, I’m away until September 6th.
However, if you’d like to explore this topic in more depth, bring it up at your next session, or drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Don’t put it off.
I’m Mark Newton, and you’re been reading another blog post from Overcoming Gravity.
That’s all for now.
To see the original picture of the stair in this article, visit: http://cdn.digital-photo-secrets.com/images/round-stair-perspective.jpg frustrated. frustrated. frustrated.