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It’s time to get back up. And no — you don’t feel like it right now. In fact, you’d rather just crawl into a hole. But since you can’t, here’s how to do it — and do it well.


Even when you don’t feel like it.

You’ve been knocked around a bit.

And you’re still sore.

Maybe it was at work.

Or something at home.

But the point is, you don’t feel like getting back into the game right now, just to get knocked around some more.

And yes —

I know I’ve cautioned you in the past about putting on a brave face.

And when you have the opportunity, always choose courage over bravery.

Because courage is deeper and stronger than bravery.

But let’s face it —

You’ve got stuff to get done today.

So today, I’m going to show you how to be brave — for the short term.

Even while you’re working your courage in the long term.

First, use a good tool.

So today I’m going to give you a good tool.

And while I can’t claim to have invented this myself —

I can still convey it to you, because you need it.

And this tool comes from one of my favorite authors on the subject of courage — Brené Brown.

I’ve shown you her videos in the past, and introduced you to some of her books.

In fact, I’ve sent some of you parts of her book The Gifts of Imperfection.

And now, Brené has a new book out called Braving the Wilderness.

In it, she outlines a plan for getting through the pain you’re in right now

Because what you really need right now is something for the pain.

In other words —

What you need to get up again is something more powerful than what you’re currently using.

And that something is belonging.

And yes — that sounds a bit woo woo.

But the fact is, you need to know that you belong — no matter what anyone else says or thinks or does.

But how can I plan to belong?

Belonging, Brown says, is finding a way to connect with something deeper within you —

Even when you don’t feel like it.

For this, Brown has created an acronym for being brave — what she calls “braving.”

And while I’m not usually fond of such acronyms, this is good stuff.

So here are the 7 parts of braving:

Boundaries—In other words, if you’re not clear about what’s okay and what’s not okay — ask. And on your own behalf, be willing to say no.

Reliability—This is when you do what you say you’ll do. Which means being aware of what you can do and listening to limitations so you don’t overpromise — so that you’re able to deliver on commitments — while balancing competing priorities.

Accountability—Meaning that you own up to your mistakes — which includes apologizing sometimes — and making amends.

Vaulting—This can be a tough one. Vaulting means you don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share. Because we need to know that our confidences are kept — and that you’re not sharing with me information about other people that should be confidential.

Integrity—When you’re working toward belonging, you choose courage over comfort. It also means that you choose what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy. And you choose to practice your values — rather than simply professing them.

Non-judgment—This is when you can ask for what you need — and I can ask for what I need. And we can talk about how we feel without judgment.

Generosity—Which is actually the key to the whole thing — meaning that you extend the most generous interpretation possible to the intentions, words, and actions of others.

So get real.

Because yes — you’ve been hurt.

You’ve been hurt at home and at work and in the places in between.

And there are days when you don’t feel like getting back up.

Because it’s a lot easier to just crawl into your hole.

But when you do, it’s not good for you — or anyone else.

So get real.

Look back over this article and make a plan to use the braving tool — in whatever measure you choose.

But do use it to get real.

To belong, to be brave — while you’re working on opening your heart to courage.

We need you.