You might be surprised by what makes you the go-to guy; the one thing that sets you apart from all the others.
It’s not that.
You look at the guy next to you. And you ask yourself: “How is that guy doing it? Why is he so successful?” And you work to figure out his secret sauce.
And that’s good. It’s good to have heroes. Following people you admire is part of the path to success. You emulate them until the dance becomes your very own.
However: the thing that sets you apart is not that guy’s secret sauce. It’s something else.
So what is it?
The one thing that sets you apart is your own secret sauce.
That’s the good news and the bad news. We’ve all heard before, “Just be yourself!” Which sounds great — but is near impossible to do. Why?
Because your self-image comes from so many outside sources. Everyone, it seems, has their own version of who you are. Your mother has one version. Your romantic partner has another version. And so on. How can you figure out who you really are, and what sets you apart from all the other guys?
Your worst fear.
The thing that sets you apart from all the rest is your worst fear. That thing you fear most is specific and powerful. For example: ask a thousand guys about their experience of abandonment. While there are threads of commonality, there is also something absolutely unique about each man’s abandonment story.
And like a muscle made stronger by lifting weights, your worst fear is an emotional and intellectual weight you’ve been lifting, perhaps for most of your life. It’s been a constant companion and irritation to you. It’s been with you, day in and day out, all these years. And like a muscle, you have been working against that fear this whole time. So you’ve developed a strange confidence which you might not even recognize.
And it’s made you who you are. For better or for worse, your greatest fear has shaped you.
Here’s the question.
If your worst fear has made you better and stronger, use that creative energy to do whatever it is you do best, and use that power to strengthen others.
If your worst fear is still crippling you and holding you back, get help turning that fear into something that gives you strength instead of weakness. No matter how far down the track you are, there is still time to use that pain for gain.
So the question is: how have you employed your greatest fear?
What sets you apart is your greatest fear, and what you have done with that fear. There is still time to put that fear to work.
Want more help?
I can help you identify your greatest fear and put it to good work for you and those you care about.