When you try to please everyone you end up stuck in the middle. Want to get out of the middle? Here’s how.
Why do you do that?
The reason you get stuck in the middle is because you’re trying to please too many people. For example: at work. Your boss thinks one thing and your co-workers think something else. You try to interpret your co-workers to your boss, or your boss to your co-workers. And you could just as easily make the same mistake at home. The reason you get stuck in the middle is that you try to interpret one side to the other, when you have no business being in other people’s business.
Get out of the middle.
A better approach is to either get the two parties together so they can hash it out, or to leave it alone. Let’s look at both of these options.
Leave it alone: you may be trying to solve a problem for someone else by jumping in to interpret what’s going on for them. Most of the time, you don’t belong in this place of interpretation. Leave it alone.
Get the two together: If you feel there must be some resolution between two opposing positions, the better approach is to get the two parties together. You can even offer to mediate the conversation. But do it when both of the parties are present in the same space, or you’ll find yourself stuck in the middle, and probably end up in trouble with both of the sides you are trying to help.
Win from within.
The real question, of course, is why are you involved in this crazy peacemaking effort anyway? Chances are, you don’t like conflict. This is something you can work on.
So please do this.
Get comfortable with conflict. There are some excellent resources for becoming more comfortable with conflict. One great resource is The Anatomy of Peace, put out by the Arbinger Institute.
Key point:
Get out of the middle.
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I can help you get out of the middle, and get comfortable with conflict.
And you have a couple of options for your next step. You could contact me and describe what you’re going through. And I’ll be in touch with suggestions. Or you can book a free session to make a time to get together and talk it over in person. Either way, I’m here to help you focus, overcome resistance, and get moving again.
Get focused and Get moving.
