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Are you struggling to make the right decision? Master this one small technique to make the right decision consistently.
right decision

Why is it so hard to make the right decision?

Making the right decision has always been difficult for you, in part because you care so much. Maybe too much. And it’s great that you care. There is a world of uncaring scratching at your door every day.

However: too much misdirected caring can make decision-making almost impossible. Why? Because you keep too many balls in the air as you struggle to decide. It’s like swatting at mosquitos with a toothpick.

What can you do?

 

The Rule of Two

Robert Frost published a poem in 1916 which both captures your dilemma about making the right decision, and suggests a solution. Chances are, you have heard this poem. Even if you have, please read it again.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

How does this poem help us?

In the poem, Frost lays two roads side by side, at their divergence.
This is what you are not doing when you feel overwhelmed. If we were to picture what is in your head when you are struggling to make the right decision in any given moment, it would probably look more like anywhere from 3 to 50 roads diverging. The challenge is to form in your mind two possibilities side by side. This may take several, even many iterations. Still, the challenge is to limit your options into pairs and work through them in succession.

For example:

Your partner is yelling at you. I realize this may seem like an extreme example, but bear with me.

Okay. So — your partner is yelling at you. You can do the fight/flight/freeze thing which is your natural go to, without actually making a conscious decision, or you can choose the branching method in Frost’s poem.

So: as your partner is yelling, you think: “What are my two options here?” You might come up with “Stay or Go?” Let’s say you decide to stay. Then the question becomes, “How am I going to stay?” Again, lay two options before you: For example: “I could be silent or speak up.” If you decide to speak up, lay down two more options in front of you: “I could yell back, or I could choose to speak my peace, peacefully and reasonably.”

You see where I’m going with this. What you have done is start a mental map with diverging paths, which will lead you onto two more diverging paths, and so on, until you come to a place where you feel solid, and are more present. You’ve moved from information overload to a clear path of decision-making.

As you practice this method, you will become better and more confident about your decisions, and be able to retrace your steps when you wonder: How did I get here?

Remember: Confidence comes with repetition!

The takeaway:

Give yourself a reliable structure for making decisions, and then use it to gain confidence in decision-making.

Just for fun:-)

Read more.

Want more help?

I can help you make the right decision consistently.

And you have a couple of options for your next step. You could contact me and describe what you’re going through. And I’ll be in touch with suggestions. Or you can book a free session to make a time to get together and talk it over in person. Either way, I’m here to help you focusovercome resistance, and get moving again.

Get focused and Get moving.