It’s hard to fight something you can’t see. Shame is invisible. If you want to put shame on its heels, bring it into the light of day.
Shame is a killer.
It kills your dreams, your drive, your delivery. Shame is a silent killer — you don’t even know it’s there. In fact, if someone even suggests that maybe your problem is shame, you’ll probably deny it. Why? Because to admit to being the victim of shame is shameful.
First, light.
To fight back, the first thing to do is to bring your shame into the light. There are several ways to do this, starting with writing it down. The simple act of putting your shame to paper is powerful, because you make it real.
You could do this right now. Just pull out a piece of paper and write down what you’re feeling ashamed of. The nice thing about this simple technique is that after you write it down, you can tear it up, if you want to. No permanent record. And yet, this simple step will begin to move you in the right direction.
It’s not guilt.
Shame is not the same as guilt, although the two are often confused with one another. Guilt is when you’ve done something wrong. Shame is when there’s something wrong with you. With guilt, you have an ability to set things right. With shame, it’s you that isn’t right.
You’re not alone.
Given a chance, most men will admit they feel shameful about something. But they also think that they are alone in feeling ashamed, because the last thing a man wants to do is to admit weakness.
Start here.
Please listen to this short talk (about 20 minutes) by Brene Brown, then come right back for today’s takeaway.
Key Point
Get into the ring with shame now, instead of waiting until you feel better or stronger. Take one small step today to face your shame.
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