It takes a lot of no to get to a solid yes

You stall out when it’s time to decide. Part of the problem is your relationship with maybe. Find your solid “yes!” by saying “no” more often.

“No” feels harsh. 

It starts with FOMO (You’re afraid of missing out on something good, so you keep too many irons in the fire.) Fear of Missing Out is a real problem for many creative men such as yourself. So first of all, try not to feel bad about this common fear.

But also recognize that while you’re keeping all those irons in the fire, your competitors are picking up one firebrand and running off with all your business (Oops! Another problem with your indecision is that there are other men, who may well not be as capable or creative as you are, stealing your thunder!)

In other words, your inability to say “no” is creating real problems. Unless you say negatory to some of your endless possibilities, you actually will lose something you could easily have had, if only you had the gumption to say “no” to some of your options).

“Yes” isn’t any easier.

But how do you know what to say “yes” to? How can you decide which of the irons to pull out of the fire? Should you pull out one and run with it, or pull all the ones out except the one you are choosing? What if you make the wrong decision, and are left holding a cold poker?

These are the challenges of a solid yes. It’s so hard to decide.

Write it out.

Deductive reasoning is easier. Too often we make the mistake of trying to come up with the perfect solution out of the air. (Have you noticed how hard it is to grab air?)

Draft and edit. Think of writing, for example. You could try to sit down and write the perfect essay the first time. But few, if any, great works of writing were accomplished this way. Instead, what most writers know is to trust in the process of shitty first drafts.

Write, write, write. When you put pen or pencil to paper, something magical happens. Your thoughts become solid. You can see them and work with them.

Elimination is illuminating.

You’re doing far too much in your head. If you want to get to a solid yes, get out a sheet of paper or open a fresh document on your computer and write.

And then cross out most of what you’ve written. It’s much easier when it’s just words on a page than when it’s all your precious, vaporous ideas rattling around inside your head.

What you’re left with will be solid. In terms of decision-making, what you will be left with is a solid yes, after crossing off a lot of less-than-best options. In other words, by looking at most of your ideas in the cold light of day, you can say no to most of them (thank each of the ideas you said no to as you dismiss them — they helped you get to your solid, confident “yes.”)

The takeaway:

Get the options out of your head and into the light of day; then cross most of them off, to get to a solid, confident “yes.”

Read more.

I can help you get to a solid, confident yes.