The kind of son you are determines more about you than you may think.

son

You once were a little son.

Which means that you had parents.

And you still do.

And this is true whether or not they are still alive.

Or whether you knew them — or not — as a child.

Or whether you are still in contact with them — or not — and with what frequency, if you are.

Because the fact is that you were once a little son.

But now, you’re a grown up son.

And here’s where it gets a wee bit tricky.

Because now that you’re a grown man, you may think that the boy of the past is in the past.

Which would be a mistake.

But a common mistake.

In fact, many men are walking around today actually thinking that they’ve left that little boy behind.

But you know better than that, right?

So what’s the point?

And here’s the point —

Life is a negotiation.

Everything you do in this life will be a negotiation —

Sometimes with someone else —

But always with yourself.

Did I just say you always negotiate with yourself?

Yes.

Does that sound a little weird?

Maybe.

But it’s true.

Because before you can negotiate with anyone else — you have an internal negotiation with yourself.

And that internal dialogue will determine, in large part, how you interact with others —

And how well.

With everyone from your boss to your spouse to the person you just passed on the street corner.

The point is negotiation.

So think for a moment:

What was negotiation like with my parents?

Was I treated as a person of value?

Or was I made to feel inferior — and to doubt myself?

And most importantly — did I come to realize that I was an equal negotiating partner?

Which I realize may seem like an odd thing to say about your relationship with a parent.

But it’s important to consider.

So take the quiz.

  • I have a good relationship with my mother (T/F)
  • I have a good relationship with my father. (T/F)
  • I enjoy celebrating Mother’s Day. (T/F)
  • I enjoy celebrating Father’s Day. (T/F)
  • I can be honest with my mom. (T/F)
  • I can be honest with my dad. (T/F)
  • My Mom knows me and accepts me. (T/F)
  • My Dad knows me and accepts me. (T/F)

We could go on.

The point is — think about it.

Because your early relationship with your parents (or lack of relationship) still affects your relationships today.

And depending on what you learned from your early days, you may have learned that you are a person of value.

Or not.

And then, take the next step.

And here’s the good news.

Whether or not you learned at an early age to be an equal negotiating partner or not, the main thing is to take stock of where you are and where you want to go.

In other words, to think about who you are —

And who you want to be.

When it comes to learning to negotiate, you might take a look at a little book called Getting To Yes.

And feel free to be in touch with me at mark@marknewtonpdx.com

I can help you to improve your sense of self, and help you with the art of negotiation.