Do yourself and those you love a big favor. And stop trying to keep everything in your head. Instead, start using this simple Boundary Technology to get yourself back on track.
Are your boundaries in need of repair?
In his poem “Mending Wall,“ Robert Frost wrote “Good fences make good neighbors.” And the central image in that poem is a stone wall that keeps falling down and needing repair. And Frost wondered through his words:
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offense.
And finally, this: “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall.”
I can easily agree with that statement. Something there is (in me) that doesn’t love a wall. Because walls feel confining. And let’s face it. I would much rather go into my day barefoot and running free. After all, who wants constraints? And wouldn’t it be great if I could be that free and yet, somehow, as if by magic, get everything done? And still have time to play — without the guilt? But at least for me, it doesn’t work that way. Because I need boundaries around my time and energy. Otherwise, I end up at the end of my day, my week, (and I imagine), my life at loose ends, having not done what I most wanted to do. Frustrated, again. But how can I reconcile my preference for freedom with the power of something as confining as a wall?
Stop fighting it.
To resolve this internal conflict, here’s what I’ve learned: use a calendar. And, at first, this was difficult for me. Because a calendar feels confining. It’s a page or a screen on which are a bunch of walls. But here’s the mental shift that helped me to harness the power of my calendar. Now, when I look at all those little boxes, I see both what I’m walling in, and what I’m walling out.
Time to relax.
What am I walling out? I’m walling out the chaos that I used to experience when I kept most of my busy life in my head. Which inevitably left me overwhelmed and disappointed. And what am I walling in? When I use my calendar, I get to relax. Because within each box, I am focused on the work or the fun of that moment, more fully engaged — without losing the big picture. Which, at the end of my day, my week, (and my life), puts me more in control of the only thing that I can control: myself.
Take a small step today.
So please — stop trying to keep your whole life in your head. Instead, get a calendar. And start using it. Because if you will, you will soon see clearly what is important to you, and will begin to feel more present, more alive, and in more control of your busy, creative life.
Want more help?
I can help you practice better emotional hygiene. And you have a couple of options for your next step. You could contact me and describe what you're going through. And I'll be in touch with suggestions. Or you can book a free session to make a time to get together and talk it over in person. Either way, I'm here to help you focus, overcome resistance, and get moving again.