After it kills you, it makes you stronger

There’s an old saying: “If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger,” which is almost right. Actually, it’s the death the does the job.

Don’t fight it.

We waste a lot of time avoiding pain. And sure — no one likes pain. But pain is a great teacher. And the greatest pain of all is a death. Death can make us stronger.

It sounds crass.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t take death lightly. But I can tell you from experience (you know what I’m talking about) that we’ve all experienced some traumatic deaths in our lives. Some of those deaths have been physical. Someone we love has passed on, as they say. And some of our deaths have been the death of a dream or a hope or a longing. So while it may seem crass to speak of death, it is a reality for all of us. And if we will let it, death will make us stronger.

Death makes me hungry.

Part of my job used to be leading memorial services. I would get together with the family ahead of time, learn more about the deceased, listen to some of the great and terrible parts of the person’s life, and then prepare to gather folks together in giving the departed a good send off. And when I was finished, I was famished. Something about actually wading into the reality of a person’s passing made me hungry for life and, well, for something to eat.

Set the table.

If you’re looking for motivation to get back to living, visit some of the deaths in your life. Especially if they are left unresolved. For example, that time your boss embarrassed you in front of your co-workers. Or that time you wanted to connect with your family at Christmas and instead wound up in a demoralizing fight. If you will consciously go to some of the places where you died inside, you may be able to put some of the pain to rest and get back to the hunger that is at the heart of motivation. After all: why do we get up in the morning? To eat breakfast. (And get out there to forage for our next meal).

Let’s face it.

You know what you need to do. We often talk here about the old saying, “Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.” It’s not easy to face some of the deaths in your life. But if you will, you will find yourself getting your appetite back — for life.

I can help you face some of the dead places in your life that are holding you back, and find the motivation to get up and get going again.