Why do you keep holding back?

Another day lost, without doing what you really wanted to do. You’re holding back. Why? Let’s find out.

Maybe you’re shy.

There are many reasons why you might be feeling shy. You may have just been dumped in a relationship. Or you may be habitually letting someone boss you around because you can’t quite explain why you know more than they do. You have been shy for a long time and you don’t even really know why.

But the open road is calling. 

You feel the tension in your chest. You want the confidence to move ahead, but you keep holding back when it comes time to get on the road.

It’s a confidence problem. You are confident that you lack the confidence you want.

But remember: confidence comes with repetition. You’re good at being shy, because you’ve acted in a shy way for so long, over and over. Now: using this same principle of repetition, you can also become confident at moving ahead into the unknown as a matter of habit, just as you have become confident about being shy. It just takes practice.

It starts with a single step.

Every journey begins with a step. So let’s take a step, right here; right now. Take a step toward deciding what you want to be confident at. Namely, being less shy and more assertive; risking rejection for the sake of moving ahead into your own powerful life, instead of watching it go by as a passive observer.

But how?

Make a plan to risk rejection. We have talked about this before, but it bears repeating. Shy men often are the way they are because they fear rejection. 

Start with a small risk, so if you are rejected, it won’t make you withdraw for a long time. We want repetitions in this space, so start small and build upon your confidence by risking rejection on a regular basis. In other words, practice getting used to rejection.

Start here.

Please listen to this short talk (about 15 minutes) by Jia Jiang, about developing a habit of risking rejection. Then come right back for today’s takeaway.

The takeaway:

If you’re holding back, make a plan to get out there to risk rejection. You will become more confident with each risk taken.

Read more.

I can help you overcome your shyness by taking reasonable risks.