Responsibility kills. How to stay alive and well

Responsibility doesn’t have to be boring. 

Get real.

And you might think, “Oh, man. This sounds boring.” But wait. I’m not just talking about all that “responsibility” stuff you’re so tired of. I’m talking about the fun stuff. Especially the fun stuff.  

Start with the fun stuff.

When you plan your week, start with the fun stuff. Put fun on your calendar. Why? Because you work hard. And you can work yourself into the ground. But all work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy. The fact is, you need to play. And you need to get your work done. So when I say get real, I mean get real about giving yourself a carrot to work for. Playtime on the horizon can motivate you to get your work done, so when it’s time to play, you actually have a good time.

How does this relate to responsibility?

Here’s how. Responsibility means knowing what needs to be done and doing it. Let’s break it down: 

Knowing what needs to be done: have you noticed that a lot of the time you don’t really know what needs to be done? Either because your boss is unclear, or because you’re the boss and you haven’t figured it out? Make yourself ask your boss what is expected or — if you’re the boss — get clear about your own expectations, so you don’t fritter away your time. 

Doing it: It follows that if you’re unclear about what needs to be done, you won’t work or play well. Instead, you’ll be unfocused, which will result in feeling overwhelmed at work and anxious at play.

So what can you do?

1. Plan your fun first. Put fun on the calendar. And then maximize your time at work so when it’s time to play, you can really play, not just pretend to be resting when you’re actually anxious about work. And I know: you might think this is a crazy idea. But I guarantee that if you give it a try, you’ll be glad you did — and wonder why you didn’t do this before.

2. Figure out what is yours, and what isn’t. This means if you’re at work and you’re unclear about what your actual responsibilities are, ask someone what you’re supposed to do. If it’s too much work for the amount of time you have, negotiate for a reasonable amount of time, and clear expectations about priorities. Or if you’re underemployed, ask for more work in line with your interests and abilities. And if you’re the boss, make yourself figure out what you want to do with your time so you feel good at the end of the day.

3. Get some help. Ask someone to hold you accountable for getting clear about what you are actually responsible for, and what you’re not. Find the balance.

Read more.

I can help you figure out how to get the most out of your work time and your playtime, so you feel good about the balance.

And you have a couple of options for your next step. You could contact me and describe what you’re going through. And I’ll be in touch with suggestions. Or you can book a free session to make a time to get together and talk it over in person. Either way, I’m here to help you focus, overcome resistance, and get moving again.