How to begin?
Begin with yourself. You have a grievance. Someone at work or at home is not treating you as well as you deserve, and you want to have it out with them. (Well: to be fair, you don’t want to have the conversation, but you want the problem resolved).
How to begin? You are rightly concerned that the conversation might turn out poorly, making things worse.
Which is true, unless you lay the ground work and prepare.
Lay the groundwork.
The problem with most difficult conversations is a lack of preparation.
How do you lay the ground work?
- Let them know you want to talk.
- Set a time to talk that works for both of you.
- Do your own preparation.
How do you prepare?
As you write, ask yourself these questions:
- What is my actual complaint?
- Why is it so upsetting to me?
- What do I want to happen moving forward?
Have the difficult conversations with the people you care about connecting with, after laying the groundwork and preparing.