You waste a lot of energy making sure you’re right. What if you built your confidence from the other direction?
You’re probably wrong.
Have you noticed how many vaiables there are? In your daily routine, there are so many moving parts. From people to technology to what to eat for lunch to how on earth are you going to get enough excercise. There are more moving parts than ever before (and many of them are invisible these days). So what are your chances of being right? Pretty slim most of the time.
Part of your struggle with self doubt is trying too hard to be right all the time. What if you were to start from the other end? Start with the assumption that you’re wrong. Such an approach could alleviate at least part of the fear of failure. To paint it metaphorically, it would be the difference between standing on a narrow platform in a windstorm and trying to not fall off, versus looking up at the platform and figuring out how to climb up. Your problem is that you’re trying too hard not to fall off an intellectual pedestal of your own making.
Work with what’s in front of you.
So try this today. Pick a scenario. Any scenario, personal or professional — where you are struggling. Got something in mind? Good.
Now: assume in that scenario that whatever you think you’re right about, you’re actually wrong. Spice it up a bit by making it important that you come to terms with whomever you are struggling with.
With the clear construct in your mind that you are wrong, solve the puzzle. Bring the conflict to resolution.
Consider the scout mindset.
Please listen to this brief talk (about 12 minutes) by Julia Galef about a mindset that can actually increase your confidence by beginning on the solid ground of being wrong and working your way up. When you finish with the talk, come back for today’s takeaway.
Instead of working so hard to be right, start from the place of I might be wrong — to stay curious, open and grounded.
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