When you argue with your romantic partner by text, everyone loses. Text difficult emotions sparingly! And certainly stop texting your partner when you’re actually arguing. It usually doesn’t end well, does it?

Texting is impersonal.

I meet with so many men who want to show me the text exchange they just had with their romantic partner. It’s usually an argument they are in the middle of.

And what do we find in that text? We find a bunch of positions that two people are taking when they can’t see each other and can’t respond in person. And why would you want to speak with the person who is perhaps your closest relationship in this way?

Wouldn’t you rather have personal conversations in — person?

Where’s the body language?

To state the obvious, when you text you aren’t actually with your partner. Which means they can’t read your eyes or lips or any other part of what makes up 80% of our communication as humans.

So think about it: you’re texting important emotions with 20% capacity. And that stuff stays in the world forever. Those words you said are emblazoned on the heart and mind of your loved one — and others they are sharing their texts with.

Wean yourself starting today.

Okay, so we have developed the bad habit of texting difficult emotions with our romantic partners, because that’s just the way of the world.

But wouldn’t you like to stop communicating this way? You can certainly text affirmations and love emojis; encouragements and pictures of something amazing you want to share.

But texting difficult emotions? Arguments? Hurt feelings? Wouldn’t those things be better done in person?

The takeaway:

Starting today:

Stop texting difficult emotions with your romantic partner.
Start making time to discuss difficult emotions in person.
Keep encouraging your romantic partner through whatever means possible!

Stop texting your arguments

Texting is impersonal.

Where’s the body language?

Wean yourself starting today.

The takeaway:

Read more.