Why do you keep choosing regret?

You do realize that regret is a choice, don’t you? So why do you keep choosing regret?

The statistics are in: 9 out of 10 men regret major portions of their lives. And what is the major reason for this regret? You might be surprised. Because it’s not what they did that gave them the most regret. Instead, the majority of men had deep regrets about their life for what they didn’t do. 

Want to stop choosing regret?

Great. And if you’re still reading this article, it’s because you have some pretty deep regrets yourself. And the truth is, you have those regrets because you’re not very good at making choices. Choosing is the problem. And no — it’s not your fault. Because chances are good that no one ever taught you how to make good choices for yourself. So you bumbled along through life, at times marveling at how well life was rolling out, and at times being horrified by it. But you never really got good at making choices for yourself. But —  you can start making better choices today, which will lead to a better life, with far fewer regrets. Here’s how to stop choosing regret.

First, watch this talk (or not).

This short talk is the basis for the takeaways below. It’s a good talk, but if you’re in a hurry, I’ll cover the three main takeaways from the talk below.

Ask.

1. Ask for what you want.

This is actually the main takeaway. But, as Kimberly Rich says in the talk, you rarely ask for what you want. And why is that? As it turns out, the reason is pretty simple. It’s because you’re afraid to ask for what you what you want. Which is silly, but true. Because there you are, a grown man and still afraid to ask for what you want. But remember this: if you don’t ask, the answer is always, “no.”

Think.

2. Think different.

Like the man who invented the phrase, (Steve Jobs at Apple), you can get yourself out of regret remarkably quickly by simply taking the time to make yourself think differently about anything. This technique can help you get out of the rut you’re in. Sound difficult? It is. But it’s not that difficult, and is definitely worth the effort. The main challenge is to stand back and observe yourself. And the best way that I’ve found to do this is to spend some time writing. Just sit down and write about a decision coming up. Because when you write about a decision, and then read what you’ve written, you’ll be able to observe how you think. And if you’re looking for another resource to help you with thinking differently, you might try this book. 

Trust.

3. Trust your gut. 

And this will be tough for some of you. Because you you’re not used to trusting your gut. Instead, you’re in your head most of the time. But the problem with being in your head too much is that you overthink most things. And because you’re smart and creative, you have more options floating around in your head than the average guy. Still, you can start today to take small steps to trust your instincts. So try this. When you need to make a decision, notice what your first instinct is. Go with this first instinct more often over the next few days and see what happens. And if you want more help in this area, check out this resource.

And feel free to be in touch.

As an experienced men’s life coach, I’ve dedicated my professional career to helping men just like you, who are struggling with regret. So feel free to write to me at mark@marknewtonpdx.com. And I’ll be sure to get back to you.

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