Are you being too nice? Kindness is better

There is a big difference between being nice and being kind. And kindness is better, because it goes deeper and lasts longer.

First: What’s the difference?

First of all, what is the difference between being nice and being kind? Here it is, in a nutshell: being nice is lying to spare someone’s feelings. Whereas being kind is the essence of connecting with someone, even when you do hurt their feelings. And the point is not to hurt their feelings, although that may happen. No. The point is to connect with the other person. And sometimes that means shaking a person out of their own version of denial. You may remember the old lyric, “You gotta to be cruel to be kind.”

But why kindness?

Kindness comes from the same root, in language, as “kindred,” as in “kindred spirit.” Which basically means, “We think alike, you and I. We have a connection that is sometimes difficult to convey in words, but we know it when we feel it.” In other words, put plainly: if you wish someone else would be honest with you — and give you a good swift kick to get you moving — you do the same for that person. It’s a feeling of connection and commonality. It feels like community, when so much around you feels fake.

Kindness wins the day.

So try a little kindness. When you are tempted to be nice, be kind instead. Which may mean that you will choose to speak some difficult truths. Still, don’t shy away. Instead, speak the truth in love.

Will you do it?

Remember — change begins with action.

Take a small step today.

Instead of being nice, be kind today.

Read more.

I can help you make the transition from being nice to being kind. And you have a couple of options for your next step. You could contact me and describe what you’re going through. And I’ll be in touch with suggestions. Or you can book a free session to make a time to get together and talk it over in person. Either way, I’m here to help you focus, overcome resistance, and get moving again.